Ninety Days

A little over ninety days ago, I met the most wonderful woman. She is beautiful, funny, and highly intelligent. She is experienced, strong, and sadistic. She is dominating and deprecatory, yet compassionate and nurturing. I am so thankful that I met Her. I am so fortunate that She has taken an interest in me. I am so happy that I have been able to please Her, and even sometimes make Her proud.

When I initially sought Her out, I am not even sure that I consciously knew what I was seeking. I had never experienced being with a Domme before. I had some fantasies, and I had of course seen copious amounts of porn. I had even played around with dominating myself, making up a character in my mind that would make me do things. Of course, I would still ultimately be in control in that situation. I had never truly experienced the real thing.

I knew I wanted to be sexually dominated by a woman. I knew I loved eating pussy. I knew I wanted to be pegged. I knew that I was interested in cock, but not men. I had no idea how much I would enjoy following Her rules and protocols. I had no idea how much I would enjoy being directed and corrected. I had no idea how much I would enjoy serving Her. I had no idea how much I would enjoy being re-formed by Her. I had no idea how much I would enjoy being Her slave.

It is incredible how quickly I fell for Her. Being deferential to Her is effortless. I love serving Her. Giving Her pleasure gives me pleasure. I want to do well for Her. I want to make Her proud. I will be the best that I can be for Her. I want to make Her happy. I will do whatever I can for Her. I am so blessed that She has taken ownership of me. I am proud to be Her slave.

She had asked me during our first meeting what I thought about being a slave. At the time, I was a little taken aback by Her usage of the word. I told Her that I thought I was too much of an independent person to ever be anyone’s slave. Her disappointment was evident. She tried to explain to me what the word meant to Her, but I didn’t understand at the time. I wasn’t ready. Thankfully, She saw potential in me anyway.

Now, I enjoy when She refers to me as Her slave. I feel like I understand Her version of the word much better. I believe She uses it as a term of endearment. Not everyone can submit so completely. Not everyone can provide Her with consistent service. Not everyone can accept Her frequent corrections and consistently bend to Her will. Not everyone can commit to following Her guidance and becoming everything they can be for Her.

She loves to be served. A proper slave provides Her with consistent service. She loves to be in control. A diligent slave consistently submits to Her will. She loves to be gratified. A devoted slave lives to please Her. She has sadistic tendencies. A worthy slave lives to please Her.

I love all of Her rules and protocols. I know that by following them to the letter, I am serving Her well. Before I met Her, I didn’t think that I liked being told what to do. I’d always been a bit of a punk, a bit of a rebel. I am not sure if it is Her delivery, or the fact that Her directives make sense, or something deeper and subconscious, but I want to do what She wants me to do. She is judicious with Her commandments. Her decrees are not always entirely for Her benefit. She also puts rules in place to protect the people that are important to Her. She takes care of Her property.

She has trained me well. I have many ways that I can please Her now. I am able to provide Her with appropriate sustenance. I am able to clean Her car (almost) precisely to Her specifications. I am able to shave Her legs silky smooth, most of the time, when I don’t allow myself to become distracted by Her presence and power. I know many ways to pleasure Her through touch, and the appropriate ways to accept Her kisses. So far, I can provide Her with oral pleasure for as long as She likes, and provide Her with multiple, often seemingly continuous orgasms.

She has been expanding my threshold of pain. I can accept the pain She offers. I will endure as much as I can for Her. I used to say that I didn’t seek out pain, that I would endure it for Her. My relationship with pain has somehow changed in the last three months. Recently there have been multiple occasions when my wounds have been healed to the point where they no longer hurt anymore, and She did not administer any new pain. I honestly missed the pain when it wasn’t there, and I was thankful when She brought it back. The idea that I would enjoy and even crave pain would not have entered my mind three months ago.

She takes care of Her property. I know that She wants the best for me. Sometimes I get scared or weak, and my faith waivers. She always remains strong. It takes only a look or a word from Her to make me feel better. I don’t know how She does it.

She has done so much for me in such a short period of time. She has opened my eyes and mind to new ideas and possibilities. She has given me correction and direction where I needed it. She has helped me to grow greatly. She is making me a stronger person. She can help me navigate the maze of my mind and reach my full potential.

She has introduced me to wonderful music I had never heard, and reintroduced me to wonderful music that I had forgotten. I maintain a list of songs that She has instructed me to listen to, or told me were important to Her. I listen to them frequently, and it makes me feel closer to Her.

She has been teaching me how to cook. I have acquired several key kitchen utensils that I never knew I needed, including a vegetable peeler and a can opener. She even gave me a special peeler and knife as gifts. I have learned some basic techniques, and She has taught me some of Her favorite recipes, including pesto sandwiches, schmear, and Her zucchini casserole. I can still taste Her lemon chicken. I will have to make that dish again very soon. This meal is one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted.

She has offered me an exercise regiment, doing water aerobics and yoga. I feel stronger and have more energy. I feel more connected with my body. I enjoy the soreness after a workout, and the feeling of my muscles growing the next day. I will get absolutely shredded for Her. I can’t wait for Her to see the results in six months or a year from now. She will be so proud of Her creation.

She has helped me improve my writing a great deal. She has taken the time to correct every single journal that I have written for Her. I take all of Her corrections to heart. She demands constant improvement (and doesn’t always get it). She has literally beaten some of my bad writing habits out of me (and I deserve more, obviously). She has helped me to expand my vocabulary, and find more interesting ways to put my thoughts into words. She has given me a great deal to write about, and Her interest in my writing and the pleasure that She derives from reading and correcting it is a great inspiration to me. I hope to write much more for Her.

She has been preparing me for cuckolding. Little by little, She puts thoughts in my head, telling me that She needs to get fucked by a real man, that She wants me to watch, that She wants me to clean it up. She has shown me pictures of cocks that She has fucked. She has told me that She wants to see me suck cock. She has told me that She wants to see me get fucked by a real man. She will decide if and when that scenario occurs. I trust Her judgment.

She has helped me to realize that I am part of the LGBTQ community. I don’t know if it was learning about the Stonewall Riots, or attending a queer event with Her that opened up that part of my mind. I don’t know why it was closed off to begin with. I’ve known that I wasn’t exactly straight for a while, and even labeled myself as queer on my profile, but somehow I still did not consider myself a part of that group of people. She has helped break down walls in my mind and expand my understanding of myself. I am still in the closet as far as most of the world goes, but at least I am out to myself now.

She has even helped me to strengthen my relationship with my other partner. Maintaining two relationships is difficult. It is not something I have ever done before, or really ever expected to be doing. Three months ago had no idea that I would become so enamored with Her, nor had I realized how deep my connection with my other partner really was. I truly love both of them. Frustrations have occurred over scheduling, and sleep has been lost over misunderstandings and misconceptions, but the more we work through these issues, the more deeply connected we become.

I struggle to wrap my head around everything I have experienced in the last ninety days. It seems like so much has happened in such a short amount of time, yet the time went by so quickly. It seems like I have known Her for much longer than ninety days. I like to think that our souls have met before. I can’t wait to see how the next ninety days will unfold, and the next after that. I see great potential for the future. I just hope I don’t fuck it all up. I imagine my wannabe-sub readers are esurient for peripeteia, but I am praying for providence.

6 thoughts on “Ninety Days”

  1. She is perfection defined. You truly are lucky. To have the purpose, guidance and growth on your life she has given you. Cherish her. Your life is worth so much to have her above you.

  2. You had a vision as a sub to find the right dominant come into your life and guide you on how to be a slave. You are truly lucky that she is big part of your fetish lifestyle. Wish I could be so lucky.

  3. It is so easy to drawn to her power. I melt even to this day when I think of her. So strong, so beautiful, and So So smart. You learn what its like to know so little when you are under her.

The greatest way for you to please my Owner is to leave comments on these journals. She expects that you will keep your comments related to the content, rather than verbally ejaculating all over the page. You will show Her the respect that She deserves.

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